Perfectionism is a personality disposition characterized by the pursuit of flawlessness and the setting of exceedingly high performance standards, often accompanied by tendencies for overly critical self-evaluation (Flett & Hewitt, 2002). Various models and conceptualizations exist, but one that resonates with me is the one proposed by Stoeber and Otto (2006), who divide perfectionism into two dimensions: perfectionistic strivings and perfectionistic concerns. Individuals with perfectionistic tendencies often strive for flawless performance (i.e., perfectionistic strivings), seek approval and validation from others, and are highly critical of mistakes or perceived failures (i.e., perfectionistic concerns). I’m sure you can relate to this in one way or another.

Over the years, I’ve encountered numerous instances where athletes, musicians, and other clients express their desire or perceived need to be perfect in order to be satisfied with their performances. However, in most cases, this pursuit of perfectionism, concerns over the need to be perfect, or both combined, has hindered these individuals from showcasing their best performances and achieving their goals. Whether it’s swimmers, table tennis players, golfers, harpists, violinists, snipers, coaches, sport directors, managers, or any other high performers, the tendencies for perfectionism are almost omnipresent, and these tendencies can have various effects on individuals in these contexts (cf. Hill & Curran, 2014).

At the same time, we must acknowledge that striving for perfectionism can be both functional and adaptive, yet it can also be dysfunctional and maladaptive. When discussing striving for perfectionism with athletes, many acknowledge that while aiming for perfection is their ultimate goal, they also realize that this mindset often hinders them from performing at their best.

In such situations, I often share with them that striving for perfectionism has undoubtedly contributed to their current level of success. Without the goal of being perfect and the relentless dedication they’ve invested in improving their abilities and skills, they wouldn’t have achieved their current position. However, I also emphasize that perfectionism can sometimes be a hindrance rather than a help.

Another aspect we explore is the concept of perfection itself and how individuals perceive perfectionism. I often share my personal perspective on the matter, as I believe it’s valuable to consider different viewpoints. I recall a conversation with my therapist several years ago where he made a thought-provoking statement: “You know, Mr. Zepp, if something is perfect, it means it is dead. Thus, being perfect means being dead.” This notion challenged my thinking and prompted me to reconsider the pursuit of perfection.

Upon reflection, I understood what he meant. If something is deemed perfect, there is no room for improvement or growth. If a steel ball, for example, is perfect, it means it is perfectly round. Even under an electron microscope, we won’t be able to find any dent or flaw. A perfectly round steel ball cannot be further improved. We cannot work with it anymore because there is no need to do so. The only thing that can be done with such a perfectly round ball is to put it into a museum and exhibit it there so everyone can marvel at it. It will lie there and cannot improve. No matter how we try to work with that perfectly round ball, nothing will make it more perfect. Perfect is dead.

Is that the goal for a high performer? Not being able to get better, to improve, to learn? When I pose this question to my clients, they all answer with a resounding “no.” Because there is always something they can improve upon, they can get better, they can learn. Always.

But what do we do now with that striving for perfectionism? Because we know it can be functional!

I always endeavor to find another concept with my clients for perfectionism – and what we often return to (or at some point I suggest it) is the idea of excellence. Excellence refers to the quality of being outstanding or exceptionally good in a particular context. It involves consistently surpassing ordinary standards and striving for the highest levels of performance or achievement. Unlike perfectionism, which often implies an unattainable standard, excellence allows for continuous improvement and acknowledges the importance of failure in the learning process.

When discussing excellence with clients, they often describe it as striving to be almost at 100% compared to others but allowing room for improvement and, most importantly, failure. Striving for excellence feels more functional to them compared to striving for perfectionism, as it provides them with the freedom to work towards and evaluate their performances without the pressure of achieving an unattainable ideal.

Striving for excellence instead of perfectionism is wonderfully in line with another perspective I hold on the topic. Because I also appreciate the existential perspective on life and everything related to it, I am influenced by existentialist philosophers like Jean-Paul Sartre and Friedrich Nietzsche. They questioned the notion of perfection as an inherent or objective quality. Instead, they emphasized the importance of individual freedom and authenticity, suggesting that perfection is subjective and can vary from person to person.

Doesn’t that perfectly (😉) align with what mastery and excellence are about?

In conclusion, helping athletes and other clients understand the nuances of perfectionism, reframing it, and embracing excellence instead is essential in my work with high performers. Perfectionism is on the rise and can have a significant negative impact on mental health, so it’s crucial to address our clients’ perceptions of it.

If you’re interested in learning more about perfectionism from one of the leading researchers on the topic, I highly recommend watching Prof. Thomas Curran’s TED talk titled Our dangerous obsession with perfectionism is getting worse.

Wishing you an excellent day.